How to Harness the Power of Habits to Build Your Leadership Skills

“If your habits don't line up with your dream, then you need to either change your habits or change your dream.”
― John C. Maxwell, Put Your Dream to the Test: 10 Questions That Will Help You See It and Seize It

Do you dream of building powerful leadership skills into your life? Then you must develop the right habits! 

In my book The Emotionally Intelligent Pastor, I actually put forth 16 habits that make you more emotionally and relationally savvy. Here’s the good news about those (or any) habits: you can develop them!

Not all 16 at once, of course! Let’s just say that most of us have plenty to work on over the years.

Pause and ponder for a minute the power of habits.

The New York Times Bestseller The Power of Habit reports, “One paper published by a Duke University researcher in 2006 found that more than 40 percent of the actions people performed each day weren’t actual decisions, but habits.”[i]

Your habits define to a huge extent the way that others experience and therefore respond to you! Are you in the habit of smiling? Of making eye contact? Of expressing appreciation? Of listening carefully?

Or do you have sloppy relational habits? Don’t pay attention to “unimportant” people? Check your texts while others speak to you? Speak in an unpleasant tone of voice just because you feel grumpy?

Simple habits make huge differences.

The Bible clearly speaks to all kinds of human habits. We need to develop good mental habits (Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 10:5), good habits of attitude (Philippians 2:14), and we need to abandon our vices (Ephesians 5:18).

The Lord promises to help us build those habits! "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13).

So what are habits? “… the choices that all of us deliberately make at some point, and then stop thinking about but continue doing, often every day.”[ii]

I list below habits of highly emotionally intelligent leaders. Take a minute to honestly reflect and ask yourself for each one: do I habitually do this? Or do I need to make if more of a habit in my life?

Then pick one and work on making it your deliberate choice each day until it becomes, well, a habit!  Do that and over time you will build powerful leadership into your very character!

Emotionally intelligent leaders habitually:

·         Monitor their emotions

·         Tune in to their self-talk

·         Identify their emotional triggers

·         Ask for feedback

·         Reset their mind-set

·         Manage their emotional triggers

·         Communicating directly (not passive-aggressively)

·         Maintain their passion

·         Listen attentively

·         Tune in to others

·         Know their team

·         Learn the organizational and cultural landscape

·         Build trust

·         Manage expectations

·         Empower others

·         Manage conflict (rather than avoid it)

Want more clarification of some of the above? You can get The Emotionally Intelligent Pastor here.

Let me know in the comments below which habits you would add to this list or the one habit that you personally find most difficult to develop!

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[i] Duhigg, Charles. (2014) The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. New York: Random House Trade Paperbacks.
[ii] ibid