Four Things to Do If You Encounter Someone Expressing Suicidal Thoughts
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Three of the 12 therapists employed with my counseling group called me last week to consult about suicidal clients. I usually would not encounter so many calls like that over the course of five or six months.
Random coincidence? Perhaps.
Yet I notice that in pretty much every counseling session I conduct these days - regardless of the “presenting problem” - clients raise the topic of how stressed they feel by the coronavirus, the news cycle, and all that’s going on in our world.
Also, the realities below that were true in 2018 may now be increasing because of the incredible stress people are experiencing in 2020 (see my article Another Silent Epidemic Sweeping Through Your Church). [i]
Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of over 48,000 people.
Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54.
There were more than two and a half times as many suicides (48,344) in the United States as there were homicides (18,830).
I will add this sad but startling note: there’s a growing awareness that pastors commit suicide and the rate may be equal to or even higher than that of the general population.[ii]
I don’t want to be one of the “silent majority” on this topic.
By the way, the Bible isn’t afraid to address this awful outcome of the human condition. At least seven persons in the Bible commit suicide. Even Elijah the prophet in a time of exhaustion entertained “suicidal ideation”:
And he prayed that he might die, and said, “It is enough! Now, LORD, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!”
(1 Kings 19:4)
Under stress, duress, and despair, none of us think clearly.
That’s why I believe every pastor can and should prepare to encounter a person whose despair and depression have moved them to the very brink of existence.
Four Things to Do If You Encounter a Colleague or Parishioner (or Anyone) Expressing Suicidal Thoughts
Be prepared by creating a list of local Christian therapists you can partner with as well as rescue crisis centers and hospitals. At a minimum, know the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1.800.273.8255).
Don’t underestimate compassion. After 20 years as a counselor, I still find it amazing at how much it helps to simply listen to people and then pray for them.
Take it seriously. If a person says they are going to kill themselves, immediately suspend any disbelief and respond as if they are completely serious. You can’t afford to underestimate the danger.
Don’t get in over your head! As I mentioned above, have resources available and contact experts without hesitation.
Let me conclude with this: if you are a pastor struggling with depression or even suicidal thoughts, you are not the only one. Please reach out for help!
Of course, that applies to anyone.
We can work through anything together.
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[i] Retrieved 10/29/20 from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide.shtml#:~:text=During%20that%2020%2Dyear%20period,females%20(6.2%20per%20100%2C000).
[ii] I will leave you to search google for “clergy suicide” to learn more
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